Reincarnation
by Avrina Mariye
Summary: Alex can remember things she's not supposed to remember, like oh for instance...her past life!Now she has to put two to two together and find her real self amongst all of it. But how is she to go about it? Find out in Reincarnation!
1. Prologue

My whole brain swirled in my head causing myself a headache. "Great! Just want I flippin' wanted!" I grumbled,rubbing my temple,probably causing a red mark to appear. The purple curtain opened to reveal a dark siloutte iluminated by the glow of the small light coming from the lamp on the floor next to me. "Alex?" His murmered gruff tweaked voice carried to me. "Mhm?" Came my reply,I rolled over in the process;causing it to become muffled. I felt in my heart the soft pitter patter of the rain outside the window of the room.I could hear his breathing draw closer towards me and the rain seem to subside as he came under the covers to me on my makeshift cot. "I can't you?" His breath was hot on my neck,causing a shiver to travel down my spine. "No Alexei, I can't." My breath hitched as he took my waist and pulled me closer. "Why?" He questioned. I went over all the reasons that I couldn't,but they were truths that would break his heart. "Just can't" I blubbered,snuggling closer into his chest. I heard him sigh contently and my heart shattered a slight fraction. The headache I had worsened as I thought of pulling away. My body and heart said otherwise as I wrapped my pale skinned arms around his bare figure. "Ali, Do you think we will ever get out of here?" He whispered into my muck dull light brown hair. I voiced a yes;even though I knew otherwise. My eyes closed in a response to his soft snoring and before I knew,I felt my body subdue to exhaustion and sleepiness.


	2. Chapter 1

Here it came; the tears that would never stop. I screamed frustrated at myself,because of the memories. I was driving the Honda Pilot my mom passed down to me just four months ago and once again I realized that even though I had witnessed a memory,it was still a dream. I would do anything to go back to 1918;To Holy Russia,to them...to Alexei.A sharp twang came to my heart as I thought of him. "You Okay?" I looked over to the passenger seat of my she sat,my best friend,the one I called a little sister and I smiled for her sake, "Of course I am, wouldn't I be?" We were close,hince the reason I called her my little sister. You see I have lived for a total of 16 years now. To everyone that didn't know my secret I was just a normal average joe.16,brunette,southern country girl,marching band geek,nerd, and bunches of other was , I'm the one in the back,reading by herself away from all the one that didnt belong,and I don't. I was originally born in Georgia,United I was still different.I remembered things that I wasn't supposed to.I remembered my past was as if I was still Alexandra Nicholaienva Alexander;Not Alexandra Renae if I was still the past Alex just in a new body with a slightly different name;in different century and time.

I thought again of Alexei and I shook my head. "Him?" India asked. "Is it really that obvious?" I supisiciously questioned. She smiled innocently and my mood 't get me wrong;I love India with all my heart,yet I don't like that people can read me easily. "Ugh! I don't know what to do!" I barked,my knuckles turning white on the steering wheel as my anger fumed. "You can' could've changed history if you had saved them." Her words I knew were meant to be ressuring,but they just weren' again she was just trying to get me happy;Yes India knew the truth;of course she did. "India,you don't get it! I knew,knew it would happen and I left before it did.I told him a lie.I should've died there with them.I should have told him the truth;warned !" My eyes watered as I looked at her for a brief was the one that I went to for alot of understood without really knew even though she didn't experience was the one I counted on.I heard her sigh dejectedly. I took her hand in mine;apologizing in my own way. "I'm sorry...I just it's so hard to see it all the time and knowing what I did.I loved him India,I love him." I said my voice softening to a whisper at the end of the just nodded and I felt road still blurred around us as I pulled into a spot in front of the movie theater. I unbuckled my seat belt as she followed. Wallet in hand,we walked inside to the ticket booth.

She took the wallet from my slightly shaking,sweating hand. "Two tickets for Titanic 3D please?" I grumbled something about how stupid it was to see a remake movie that was just remade for 3D. India shot me a glare as we headed into the number 1 movie site.I had no problem with the Titanic it was the opposite.I loved it.I was a buff for history and I really digged the actual history of the real Titanic.I praised the movie for it's rocketing success and it's ability to be the best movie ever created. Yet I just didn't see the reason for a _3D_ if it did mark the 100th year anniversary of the actual tradegy of the real Titanic sinking. I settled into the seat comfortably as the lights dimmed. I felt something brush by my leg and I squeeked slightly. "Oh I'm sorry.I was trying to just settle in.I didn't mean to touch you." I mumbled a 'it's okay' until I blanked. I moved my head slightly to the right,where I saw a smiling face of a young man about my age.I smiled helplessly to him as I felt an odd connection to jabbed my shoulder as I payed attention to the commercials that all movie theaters had. She gave me a questioning eye raised look and I mouthed a 'later'.

The movie ended at about 3 to 4 hours later and India and I noted the change from sunshine to moon. We grabbed the snacks we had purchased as we set to go outside. I began the descent down the stairs when I heard an 'oof' in front of me. There I stood stunned and shocked eyed as the lights blinked on. "I'm so sorry.I didn't see you there.I'm so very sorry." I rambled more sentences along those lines as my little sister/bestfriend came and enclosed my mouth into her hand. "Sorry she rambles when she has awkward moments." She explained,which wasn't at all knew the reason I had rambled on like a lunatic. "It's perfectly , I'm Alexei here is my friend Dimitri are you two?" I glared at her ;challenging her to answer .Of course she didn't take heed of my silent command and introduced herself. "Hi! I'm India Nelson!" I laughed silently at her still childlish yet perfectly mature behavior. I took Dimitri's hand first, "I'm Alexandra me Alex." Alexei took ahold of my hand after I was done introducing to Dimitri. My hand held that all of a sudden fire feeling and I yelped suprised. Alexei's look went from friendly to all of a sudden apologetic. "Ah sorry,I forget about my burning cut sometimes." I glanced at him bewildered as I inspected my own hand. India's chocolate mocha curls fell over her shoulder as she voiced a concern. My injured hand went towards my hip as I waved her off.

The two,I guess you can call new friends of ours,paced behind us as we went to the car.I became self consious in front of Alexei as a memory took itself to my mind.


	3. Chapter 2

The view was spectacular as I was rushed into the double wide doors.I was so mad at my father for doing so, "Now princess,we have been put in the Czar's good must behave when I am not with are on your own." I stared straight at him was Papai going on about? Me on my own?Where was Cecilia?Behave when I'm not with him?Where was he going? I didn't know a thing so I just inclined my head as a reply;hoping he would be kissed my temple in a loving manner as I was once again ushered away. I realized by fault what had happened.I detached myself from the maid that had my chubby small wrists in her bony turned;astonished by my urgency to reach him. "Please Papai,don't leave me." I begged and I could see the tears being held back as he retrieved my 12 year old figure to his. "Child,hush your ,I'm just leaving to go on a trip with Czar Nicholas.I will be back to get you." His American accent came through his voice thickly as I nodded another affirmitive. My father was the American Ambassador in Holy Russia for United States of mother had died at a young age when I was enlisted maids and nursemates to take care of me when he simply couldn't.

I let go of his muscular form as I stepped my way back to the maid waiting paitently for me.I smiled cheekly at her as I watched my father's retrieving back. Going up the steps,Anya as I learned her name was,opened a door to which I guess would be my suite. "Here you go suite." I picked up slightly on her Russian and I was thankful for taking it before my father and I moved permentatly squeezed my shoulder lightly as she left me to be.

I went to jump onto the bed when I stumbled into someone behind the door. "Ah!" I screeched. I jumped literally 10 feet into the air as the young auburn with a slight coppery tint haired boy stared at me. "You are the American?" He asked bluntly,yet with a royal regal voice.I scanned him over. "'s it to you?" I didn't like people simply calling me'the American'.Last time I had checked I still had a name. He scoffed as anger formed into his eyes,sizing me up. "Watch how you talk to me.I'm the Tsarevitch." I followed his lead as I sized him this was the famous heir to the Russian throne. I laughed unmeekly. "Well,good for if you excuse me.I would like to sleep if you don't in other nice out!" I barked sarcastically and his face voiced stunned. I snickered as his look soured over;then came blank. "I'm sorry I was just in here,trying to set your room up properly. My mother asked we start over?Hello, I'm Alexei Nikolaevitch of all of Holy Russias." I really drew a blank as I went over to be nice to him or continue with the sarcastic.I took the first. " Hi,I'm Alexandra Marie that I forgot it's different name here in Russia." Alexei huffed a small laugh but it filled me with a feeling of home. "So what will it be here then?" His eyes twinkled misheviously and I grinned from ear to ear. " Alexandra Nicholaievna Alexander."

From that day on,Alexei and I were tied to the the first moment I learned of his hemophilia...

The plush green grass felt so soft on my feet as I hiked up my dress around my ankles. I heard his laugh as I tossed a pile of dirt behind me. It had been a year since I had arrived in the Romanov's lives.I lived and learned like them.I did most things like Czar Nicholas and Father came back at the same time,and we all saw their acted like were to arrive today because Alexei's birthday was at the end of this week. "You won't get me Alexei!" I yelped.I ran and hid behind a bush as I watched Alexei stop in front of it. " I'm going to find you Alex." He went in a slight circle trying to find me.I giggled trying to muffle it with the dirt along with my own hands. It was unfortunately heard. He crouched down,coming eye to eye level with me.I lifted my head. " Found you." He egoistically grinned.I shook my head my loose hair flying crazily about. "Yeah but you haven't caught me." I retorted.I went to hide farther into the bush as he reached for upon his knees and hands hard he screamed furiously and only thing i heard was screeches from myself,Alexei,and others as I went to him.

His sailor Nagorny rushed towards us,picking me up as Czar Nicholas retrieved Alexei.I peeked over the sailor's shoulder,concern filling my being for the Tsarevitch. He was bleeding furiously and guilt took over. Going inside,I went behind the Romanov family and the Royal doctor to Alexei's all went in,the Czar placing a still screaming Alexei onto the bed.I placed my hands on the wall;sinking to a sitting I was,listening to my best friend screaming like death and I couldn't even muster the confidence to go to Botkin enclosed the handle in his hand as he shut the door. He was about to leave to be somewhere else,when he noticed me. My dress was dirty and had some tiny spots of blood on it;my hair a tangled mess and eyes shot blood red. " He will live,mi' just has the Royal Blood disease but he should live past today."That was the only hope he gave me.I had of course had heard of the 'Royal Blood Disease'.It was really called hemophilia. I shook my head in grief as I raced myself to my suite.I jumped flat onto my bed,interupting the silence with my wailing sobs.


	4. Chapter 3

The world came to me as I rubbed feverishly at my temple.I had been placed in my car,front seat of course.I scanned the area around us and came to realize that we still were at the Royal Cinemas Theater parking door to my seat was opened and I peered into the eyes of Alexei. "Are you alright?" He asked,concern filling his voice."What happened?" My voice sounded stuffy. "You passed said it happens alot;so me and Dimitri carried you here." He placed his hands on the hood of the PIlot as he leaned closer to me. I smiled,blushing red. "You should go see someone about that." He adviced,and anger fumed inside of me.I wouldn't have passed out if it wasn't for him anyways. I frowned and gruffed a rude was shocked and I closed the door and started the Honda. India's soft features on her face were light by the light of her blackberry. "Wanna spill?" I said,my southern accent truly known. " About what exactly?" She innocently replied. "You know what,India Nelson. I'm not 's wrong?" I smirked as she gave in.

I knew what it was before she even said, "Was it just me or did-" I sadly cut her off. "It was.I felt question that's haunting my mind though is how?" "What was it about this time?" I acted shocked,though I knew she already knew why I passed out. I swear the girl could read my mind or some wierd voodoo stuff. I turned the Pilot's steering wheel,coming unto Pooler Parkway. "When we first met;and when I first learned of his hemophilia." I bluntly stated and she bobbed her head up and down in a response. We didn't say much on our car ride to my house after ,I didn't much want to anyways.

I plucked the glass door enough so we could get house was quiet as I realized my parents were out for the week. It was Christmas Break and Mom wanted to go to work with my dad. My older sibilings,Matt and Emily had come home from college but like me,they didn't really much care for staying dogs ran towards us,the youngest,Ella,jumping up to lick our faces and was gained with the response of India and I squeeling with delight. We went our seperate ways as I went to the kitchen to retrieve us something healthy or healthier to chow down on. Coming away from the refrigerator,I followed India's path to my own room.

My room wasn't was still mostly the same way it had been when I moved back to Georgia from Virginia. The bluish teal was painted onto the wall. The room was brightened by lime greens and dark purple and whites;only to be darkened by another favorite color of mine...black. Zebra was represented quite throughtly throughout my room. I still owned the 'fancy furniture' my cousin, a couple years back had given of me and of my friends stormed most of the walls instead of just one little spot on one just one thing truly caught everyone's eye.

My room when I had been younger had been the complete representation of a 'pig stye'.Yet over the last year or so,it had been,what my friends like to call,O.C..Everything was neatly put more mess,except the drawings of my past life scattered absoultly everywhere. " You really need to get a folder or something for these,Alex!" India suggested picking up some of the papers around her,just to study them. "Nah,I'm I put them in a folder,Lord only knows where I will leave it." She sighed;placing one of her movies into my DVD player.

V for Vendetta.I knew it,that girl loved that movie like no other.I liked it,partically because it had Natalie Portman as the main actress and it was action filled. I leaned against the white headboard,the long zebra covered body pillow supporting my back. I glanced at my door,debating on rather or not to close it. The movie began and I shooed off the notion that ran through my mind. My eyes closed and for once I was thankful that when I was younger I heard India's describing the movie,so I didn't have to repeat the process that usually came about when she talked about the movie DURING the movie.I laughed at it, she stared at me and I explained to her what I laughed at in such a random laughed along and I gave her a vanilla animal cracker.

"Ready to bit the heads off of animal crackers?" I questioned and she snorted a had gone through a whirlwhind of a year when we were in 8th grade;two years had been my most dramatic year,and we had stayed together through it had so many insiders and what nots,and of course the animal cracker bit came from this. I heard a crunching snap,and chuckled heartily at India's satisfied face. I began to lay across sideways on the double bed as I let my head droop over the side.

My muck chocolate dark brown mess of hair fell out of place;I raked my hand through it mindlessly. My hair was a natural wonder on all it's with it's color it did something that I knew nobody else's hair was straight at the very top, turned into waves,and ended with was always along this routine unless I bothered myself with it;which was not often.

V for Vendetta was still playing on and we were watching it quite had squirmed around quite a bit;chuckling as we went loud boom sound came from the entertainment system as I went to the living room.I wasn't much anymore for had been awake through out the entire thing.I had tried but once my eyes began closing I knew it was to much to stay awake through. Laying down,I cuddled closer to the lesser active two of the dogs,my long time partner in crime,my sweet black lab, grumbled throatly and I sighed happy to still have him here with me. "Night,Bubba.I love you." I murmered sleepily,calling the blanket over with my hand;covering myself with it. I felt myself fall deeply into the world of dreamful again.


	5. Chapter 4

I heard a blood curling scream as I awoke realizing it was myself. I was soaked with sweat and the air felt like it was filled with humidity. I raked my hair that was pulled back finding it wet as Anya rushed toward me. "Missus,Are you okay?" I wanted to yell at course I wasn't,infact I didn't even know what happened. I nodded my head as the Romanov sisters filed saw the state i was in,and the ''little pair'' which was Maria and Anastasia came to help me stand up. I let out a weak moan as I was interrogated by the Olga and Tatiana. I explained that my dream was of a mystery I simply just didn't know but had some affect on my would. I was thrown into a clean new white nightgown as my sheets on the bed were striped clean off it.

OTMA all set me to bed; the older sisters softly rubbing my head.I felt the sudden sensation of eyes roamed around the girls and I felt content. "I was running,trying to get to had another all of a sudden the man was there and Alexei was fine.I was then thrown into a revolution and the man was trying to kill kept screaming "Curse, forever ,Curse forget." Tears came forth out of my eyes as I let them and Anastasia both collided me into a hug. "I was dripping wet,then all of a if he was a ghost,so was was he stabbed me.I'm scared." I whimpered my words broken by the sobs. The "Big Pair" -Olga and Tatiana- went out;Kissing my forehead and saying' good sleep my three sisters' in sync. The last two sisters of mine,as they were to me slept with me that night;I was apart of the Romanov family.I had a whole family.

The morning came;I noted that I was now the only one left in the slightly,I dressed for the day,already knowing mostly everybody else would be up. I followed the path to the gardens,even after such a long time I still marveled at the grandness of the palace. The sun shone halfway,oranges yellows and pale reds painting the was dusk,and it still took my breath away. The sky made the solid gold specks on the palace glitter like white was darkened just slightly but still distinctfully known. The green and brown of the ground blended into one,making it look like an endless stretch of earth.

I sighed happily; enjoying the silent peace and beauty of the gardens. I plumped down onto the Earth,arms spread out and my face towards the sun. My father was going away for a whole Czar Nicholas.I stuttered to think why he was going back to America for a heart fell heavy and I sighed unwillingly. I raked my pale hands through my hair, a habit I picked up recently. My heart was filled with worry.

It was heard by me before it actually accured. "Whatcha doing out here,Mi'Lady?" I smiled inwardly at his trial of laughter. "I was enjoying the peace,until you came along of course." I countered. Alexei feigned hurt,causing me to roll my eyes as a response. "Well,if you feel so strongly,I shall you leave you to the quiet of nothing." He went to go get up as I grabbed his wrist,actually thinking I had hurt him.

Alexei's ice blue eyes bore into mine and I saw them cloud over even more than they were. He smiled huskily at me as he plopped down again to me. I looked once more into his eyes;before he shied away. "Alexei, why won't you look at me? You hardley speak to me now." Silence filled the air as no reply came forth from him. Anger and rejection boiled inside my soul as I stormed off;leaving him behind.

Men were one thing I don't think I'd ever understand. I doubled over in slight pain as another cramp hit my stomach. I was already 14 and for 4 years I had my menustrel period,which were very irregular. I stormed inside avoiding others as I went in search of Anya. I found the woman placing clean linens on my sheets. "Anya, can you pick out a darker dress for today?" My voice came out childlessly as she grinned,knowing my dilemia witout asking. Anya in just a short year had become a mother figure to me as one could.

I dressed quickly as a knock sounded on the surface on the outside door smiled and kissed my forehead as she normally did and opened the door to leave and let the interuppter leave. "Standya,I will be getting medicane for in your could provide her company,I prusume?" There came no reply that was heard and the royalty came in. "Why did you run off?" I pivoted around,telling myself I knew it should have been him. " Why didn't you ever reply to me?" I shot back. He didn't reply and I wanted so bad to just slap him or something along those lines. "Father proclaimed the other day that war was declared on goes to war today." He glanced up peeking through his eyes.

"So you didn't talk to me because you knew this and I didn't? What's the big deal starting tell me exactly what you are thinking." I saw a slight tint of blush come painted lightly on his cheeks. I don't what made me do it;but I inched closer to him, "Alexei,please...tell me...I don't want to loose you." I pleaded. "That's the thing! If I tell you my one biggest secret that I even kept from you;you'd run away! I would loose you and I can't bear that, Ali,I just can't!" He barked,the last part turning into a whimpering whisper. I placed my hand on his arm and for the the first time I took hint of that spark that ignited. "I'd never do to you,Alexei." "Promise?" He pleaded back. I nodded as he came forth with this secret, "I'm in love with you,Alexandra.I've been in love with you since we met. I want...I want to be with you."

I didn't reply,I was shocked gears in my head wheeled to work as I thought of the best way to reply. "Alexei, you have something on your shirt." I poked the middle of his chest as his head bent towards it.I took my chance; I bent my head down squatting a bit as I kissed him. He eargely replied back. I let my instincts take over;as I placed my hands into his golden auburn hair,pushing myself closer to him. Alexei must have thought the same thing I guess as he pulled me closer,wrapping his arms around my waist.

I felt at home,secure,safe...I felt loved. I was loved;at fourteen I was in love. I grinned fooshily ,keeping my eyes shut as we pulled apart. "Beautiful." I heard him say as he stroked my cheek with his hand,causing me to lean into his touch. "I love you,Alex." It was surely a simple statement,one people used often,but to me it meant the world. I opened my eyes and kissed the palm of the hand that was resting on my cheek. "I love you too,."


	6. Chapter 5

I awoke with a start,taking in my ;I was home. I rubbed my eyes tiredlessly,willing myself to go check on India. I recalled the pervious night as I creaked the door away from its hinge on the opposite side of it slightly. I heard a soft snore and moan,knowing it was my little sister. I wasn't going to wake her up until I noticed the time.12:00 in the afternoon, the longest I had slept this break. "INDIA! TIME TO WAKE UP!" She jolted into a sit up position startled. I held a mischevious grin on my face,I knew my eyes were twinkling with TOTAL INNOCENCE!

"What time is it?" She questioned back,silently glaring at daggers at me with her eyes. " 12 in the afternoon!" I sang obnoxiously. I was in a good mood today, one of my rare moods.I was taking advantage of it too. "Mmm." She sat on the side of the bed,her legs falling over the side;she stretched. India was still a skinner girl than me,with brown dark chocolate curls that fell that to just under her shoulder blades in the had gotten taller than me a couple years back and it stayed that way. India's eyes sparkled with green,showing her soul,but only I knew that.

I commanded her to wake up and dress for the appropiate weather as I searched my closet myself. We had decided last night that we would go met her boyfriend Connor at the park. I was the third wheel,but to me,I neverminded. I'd rather stick to the past love that I had;with a gentlemen instead of the jerks who I most of my guyfriends weren't jerks,but they were friends...not love interests. I pulled my brown uggs on,taking a white overshirt to put on over my bright sea blue tanktop. India placed my white knit cap into my waiting hand.

Approving of my ansemble, I peered to India. She was gowned in jeans like me,with a black angel shirt and black feet adorned colorful converses;her outfit was attired with black and red feather earrings and a black cap. I smiled in approval,though it wasn't much needed anyways. India and I had style of our own,though still not the same. India held more of a punk rock to her ansembes while I had more of a gothic/emo touch on smiled brightly as we headed towards the car.

I was dumb enough to type in 'Forsyth Park' into my TomTom. I knew where the destination was,that even India gave me a questioning glare, "Alei.."she started. I huffed,realizing what I had done, "What maybe I wanted to hear it's accent,after all it is my boyfriend." I sarcastically said. India giggled into her palm of her hand as I shut the thing off. We had hit close to downtown about 15 minutes after that,and all I could say was I have the time of my life rocking out to music with India. We stuck one of my old CDs into the player,automatically turning the bass and volume up.

" And all you are is mean,and a liar,and someday I'll be living in a big old city and all your ever gonna be is mean,why you gotta be so mean?" India and I obnoxiously sang to Taylor Swift's Mean. We chuckled hysterically when both our voices cracked at the same time. I pulled into a spot about two blocks north of Forsyth Park and began fussing over my wind blown hair,finally giving up about a second later. I began the walk towards the park as India came step to step with me. " So all I'm going to be doing is being alone,while you and your boyfriend fantasize about one another NEXT to eachother." I didn't give a reply in words,but did when she stuck her tongue out. "I LOVEEEEE YOU!" I screeched pulling her into a laughed,we both knew some things were never meant to change.

The grass looked well kept up with as we came towards Connor sitting on a blanket. The couple hugged,and I being me,inwardly 'aww' were keeping up 'polite' conversation as I zoned out. My hand shot towards the grass behind me and I ran my fingers through the patch obediently. What would Alexei be like now? Was that Alexei from yesterday real or was I dreaming? Why am I still feeling so alone? There has to be some sort of explaination. "So what do you think?" Connor asked me,causing me out of my reviere. "Whadya I what?" I questioned back. "What do you think about going over to the festival tents with me and In?" I mentally slapped mysef for acting idiotic. I nodded.

The special History Festival was held now all the time here. I scanned the tables of trinkets and shirts,picking out things that grabbed me in interest. I eventually gave up thinking of buying anything when a small jewelry box,with all kind of jewels grabbed my attention. I hurried over to it,avoiding India and Connor's gazes. I opened the small double doors as I inspected the jewlery. They were all familiar until one certain ring really gave away the identity. I picked it up,glancing at the engraving in the inside. _Love You Always-Alexei_. I dreamed of the day,'Alexandra' had gotten it until I was brought back to this world. "Like it huh? Most women did." I faced towards the voice. "Ah,I remember right?" He smirked, lordy did he smirk. I nodded,lost for words for once in my life. "uh...Alexei right?" I asked.

He didn't confirm or deny my question,but he didn't need to. "So what's with you following me everywhere?"My voice sounded soft,it sounded in love. " I'm not following you,I work this shift." I could feel my eyebrow raise in a questioning look. His hands shot up,like a criminal would do if someone told them to put their hands look was the same my Alexei always had. "Honest.I get off in a few,if you oh i don't know want to tell me why you in particular is stalking me?" He shot my question back into my face and I frowned. "You are the one that is stalking me here mister! " I accussed, "But yeah sure,why not?" He smiled at me and I couldn't help but return it took the ring and enclosed it back into the jewelry box.

Laughter,screams of joy,storytelling,the arts;I could hear it all and I instantly fell in love with the blended sound of the human race. I swept my hands over the blanket as I smoothed it out,Connor and India following my lead. "Was that Alexei you were just talking to not to long ago?" India gave me her famous 'don't lie to me' look and I shivered under her gaze. "Yeah,umm I'm going to talk to him again soon,he gets off in a few." I meekly said,scooting a slight fraction away from didn't take her eyes off of me,"What?" My voice cracked and I frowned hating showing my weakness. "Nothin'.Nuttin' at all." She said,taking a mouthfull of green beans. I frowned,and I was sure my lips would now forever be in a frown.

India and Connor were smiling away at each other thirty minutes later. I loved the two,truly and honestly I did. Connor was a great friend,and a great boyfriend for India,but watching them all the time now,I feel as if I will never have that again. " Ima see if Alexei is off." I called,hearing India reply 'okay'. I went back to where the jewlery box and ring had been,just to find them gone,causing my heart to fracture an inch more. "Some guy bought it right after you left." I pivoted around,mouth agasped,hair flying with the breeze. Alexei had a smug smile on his face and I couldn't help but find it attractive. "Guy?" It came out before I even thought to say it. Alexei didn't say anything for a while as he lead me to a patio set of chairs that someone set on the lawn of the grass.

"Yeah guy,I mean after all it did belong to Tsarevich Alexei Nikolaevich Romanov." He stated. I smiled, " What was the guy's name." His gaze went to the heavens above us, " I imagine it started with an A." I captured the hint of playfullness in his voice. "No really,Alexei." My volume rose a tiny bit and drew to a serious tone. He placed a plastic 'WalMart' bag unto the table,grinning the whole while. " I imagine he did it for the girl he was seriously interested in,and maybe was in love with a long time ago.I imagine he did it because it belonged to him in the first place." He smirked as he unwrapped the plastic bag,pulling something out of it.

" I don't have to second guess at things.I hated doing that. I don't have to even look at you once to know that you are the Alexandra I met years ago,my best friend,the one who died.I don't have to guess anymore,because I followed my heart and I can just tell. I bought the stand. I did it because I wanted to give the ring back to you; because no matter if you believe me or not, I am Alexei Nikolaevich Romanov." My eyes widened and I began to feel the familiar twing of hope,until my eyes narrowed. "Look Alexei,I don't know how you know about my dreams, I don't know why you think this is funny,but it isn' really just wasted my time to try and pretend to be a dead prince I dream may have the same name,but you are not Alexei Nikolaevich Romanov." I screamed at him,the frustration from all these years that it built up to just come loose.

I pushed the chair behind me as I stood,having every intention of walking away. I almost succeeded until he clutched my hand into his. "Alex please believe me.I wouldn't lie about this. Why can't you see it? I know you know Alex.I know it!" He came back even angrier than I had been. Tears brimmed at the edge of my eyes as I kept standing there, "Because my Alexei died,was is no way he would have survived that,even if he was reincarnated like I was,he wouldn't hold the exact same no I can't believe let me ." I whispered,all of the emotions that I kept bottled inside for all these years coming out in a obeyed my plead as I walked to India an Connor.

I felt the tears streaming down my face,probably causing the eyeliner to run down with it.I turned around before India could see them,and I wiped them away.I scurried over, "Hey In, I hate to break this,but I'm ready to go home. You want to come with or you want Conn-" I was cut off, " I'm ready too, bye Connor.I love you." In the corner of my eye,I witnessed the two hug briefly;India following me after it. No words were spoken and I for once was grateful for the silence. I kept my gaze away from my little sister as I started the engine. It took us maybe 45 minutes to reach home.

"Wanna tell me Alei?" Her voice was quiet but not to quiet. "He played for a fool. He said that he was actually Alexei,My said he was instead of just a guy named Alexei Romanov. He said he remembered to know what's the worst? I believe him." My face was red,showing the frustation I had at myself. India didn't say anything,she didn't say how stupid I was,or that we shouldn't have left for of this,she just put her head on my shoulder and yet that was the most comfort I felt at anytime in my live.


	7. Chapter 6

The wind sailed,filling my senses with lilac and lavender. " Standya?" My body circled around at the mention of my russian before me stood Anastasia, the youngest Romanov daughter. She came to hug me,causing us to be encased in eachother's arms. "They come home today,can you believe it?" I didn't reply, carefully trying to phrase the words in my head right. " Yes,it must be exciting." I said back, smiling lightly at her lit up face. She was right, Czar Nicholas and Alexei would be back for the Christmas Holidays,father would not.

I could feel the tears on my face as if his leaving was yesterday,though it wasn't. I spoke no more as I went closer to the almost wildering flowers of the bushes. "He'll come home soon,Standya. Just a few more months." She said her voice trying to show hopefullness, I didnt feel it. I bit back the words on the tip of my tongue, she knew nothing of real detachment,not the way I have. I flatly smiled at her,sending a fake ressurance back. Anastasia patted my shoulder,leaving me to my peace.

I wanted so bad to not feel this vancany in my stomach;I wanted Papa back. He had left in early August,and I had been surely depressed since then,besides the few stolen moments with Alexei. Alexei...He had changed as everyone war had been brutal to all,and I most certainly saw it in my love. I plucked a white rose from a bush,pricking my finger with one of the thorns in the process.

I felt the pain; I didn't react though. I stalked the small trail of blood with my eyes going down my pale skin fingerpad. I didn't even take notice of the night settiling upon the earth,I had been so entraced. The maroon-ish red metalic tasting blood ran from the whole finger to the almost exact middle of my palm,until it had been stopped by another hand. I peeked up, red hot angered at the one who dared disturb me. His icy blues met mine and I felt my body shiver slightly with the excitment his attached hand to mine made me feel.

I took in his appearence,noticing the slight welt where his left knee was under his army green pants,and found he had had another accident. He was leaner,a slight but barely noticable tone to his body. His chin held a small blonde haired scruff on it. His grip was strong but what really caught me was his expressions;his eyes. His normally clear ice blue eyes were slightly clouded and I saw the meaning of it, I had seen it before. His eyes held lost,grief and pain in them.I shuddered.

Without thinking of where I was or who I was, I attacked him in a hug, crying with happiness and misery unto his strong chest. Alexei's arms enclosed around my waist and I relished in his touch. "Ali." The way he said my name caused me to smile and cry harder at the same time. He was no longer the Alexei I had a couple months ago,that was obvious,the only question I held still was how much had changed?

He let me go abruptly as a guard passed by,glaring at me. "You shouldn't have done that." His voice was whispering dangerous low,and I shrank back in fear. "I'm..I'm sorry,I just missed you.I..I-" My heart sank as I elbowed his side,strutting away. I wasn't going to reply, I wasn't going to man I had left standing there was not under any circumstances my Alexei.

My vision was blurred,the dark clouding it over even more. "Are you lost, Mi'Lady?" I stumbled, coming eye to eye with Rasputin, the supossed holy man,according to Csarina Alexandra. I nodded a no, as I took in my surrondings. Rasputin stared at me and I shrank back, noting the way his eyes glared into my soul. He smelt nothing of cleanleness, and it caused my nose to scrunch up in disgust. " I'm sorry Father, I wasn't really paying attention to where I was going." He continued staring at me and I eventually scurried off.

Tears can be an underlying truth, but they still suck, no matter if its for a truth or a lie. I didnt cry, but I felt like it was at a time needed. Alexei, he surely had frightened me earlier, he was not the same and I hope I wasnt the only one that could tell. I came upon my bedroom, opening the door to make room for myself. It was always kept neat and tidy and none of it was my doing.I was the opposite of neat, the messier it was the more I felt at home in America...home. I missed it so much. Sure I had found my place here in Russia, but home was still home. It was where I was born, where I grew up most of my life,where my ancestors where, where my mother layed to rest. Home was still America and I kept finding myself to miss it more and more.

My bedroom door was again slid open, and in came Alexei. " Ali?" His voice was a gentle soft whisper and it almost made me forget earlier. "What?" I barked back, not caring about my level or tone. " Can we talk... I need to talk to you." His form was no longer luminescent as he came into my full view. I stared into his eyes long and hard. Finding nothing come out of my mouth, I knodded half heartedly. Alexei sat upon my bed, taking my form into his arms to match his form. I felt his chin rest upon my undone hair. The conversation began.


End file.
